It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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