He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
