Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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