i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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