I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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