she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So many bounce houses so little time
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
