That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
