What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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