I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
