jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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