im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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