I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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