Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
