you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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