your thong is hanging out like whoa
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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