Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
