He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize