I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
