So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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