Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize