Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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