i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I take back everything I said about communal showers
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
