She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
