I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think weed is turning my hair brown
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
