where does the pee come out of this thing
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
