dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
