Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
do herpes really smell.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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