Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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