he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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