Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
