you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
