ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
it's great music for shaving your balls
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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