On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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