he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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