I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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