I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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