he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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