Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
