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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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