Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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