Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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