Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize