There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
