when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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