Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
