Its about making memories worth repressing
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
