Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
