sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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