I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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