What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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