I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
