I must be too annoying 4 u.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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