The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
