Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
