He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize