Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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